I overhear from the neighboring office today, "Yeah, there's this like worry gland in women when it comes to money..." I laughed and I'm sure said something smart back, if not in my head. I am a woman. I worry about money. I worry about not enough. I worry about too much. I just worry. And I don't know anything about glands.
What I know is that He satisfies.
I don't know it always: I kick myself on Sunday mornings, standing in the front row, desperate for a touch of God like the old days. Days when I wept because of His goodness, days when I shouted because of His worth, and days when I was broken by His faithfulness. I am not so easily persuaded these days.
But I am aware that none of the things after which I chase satisfy like He does.
I get so tired of chasing, expecting, and being disappointed--not because the result isn't what I wanted, but because it isn't Him.
I am satisfied by You alone
Just one touch from you, oh Lord
Reach within my heart and make it new
Oh I must have more of you
These are the words that pound through my speakers, that resonate in my car and heart this evening. Not because I mean them, but because I'm sure of them. Because sometimes I'm not sure of them, but I want to be sure of them. Because sometimes I don't want to be sure of them, but I want to want to be. I declare that I am satisfied by Him alone, because I know my propensity is to want more than Him alone.
I don't need more of anything; I need a heart change. A new heart.
Too often I try to refurbish, renovate, recycle the one I have, but what I need are His mercies new every morning. What I need is more of Him.
What I know is that He satisfies.
I don't know it always: I kick myself on Sunday mornings, standing in the front row, desperate for a touch of God like the old days. Days when I wept because of His goodness, days when I shouted because of His worth, and days when I was broken by His faithfulness. I am not so easily persuaded these days.
But I am aware that none of the things after which I chase satisfy like He does.
I get so tired of chasing, expecting, and being disappointed--not because the result isn't what I wanted, but because it isn't Him.
I am satisfied by You alone
Just one touch from you, oh Lord
Reach within my heart and make it new
Oh I must have more of you
These are the words that pound through my speakers, that resonate in my car and heart this evening. Not because I mean them, but because I'm sure of them. Because sometimes I'm not sure of them, but I want to be sure of them. Because sometimes I don't want to be sure of them, but I want to want to be. I declare that I am satisfied by Him alone, because I know my propensity is to want more than Him alone.
I don't need more of anything; I need a heart change. A new heart.
Too often I try to refurbish, renovate, recycle the one I have, but what I need are His mercies new every morning. What I need is more of Him.
posted by Lore at 9.7.08
5 Comments:
Lore, I'm so glad I found your blog! Your writing is absolutely beautiful, and you can bet I'll come back to enjoy it. :-) I have lots of good memories of our Rosedale days and would love to know what's going on in your life now. Have you been getting our newsletters? Take care!
Stephanie (used to be Nisly)
@Stephanie
Wow! What a total surprise! How good to hear from you. I certainly have been getting your newsletters and enjoy knowing what's going on with you and your husband. How in the world did you find my weblog? I'd love to get back in touch with you, drop me an email sometime: loreferguson@gmail.com.
it's Always about more of
Him.
I am satisfied by You alone
Just one touch from you, oh Lord
Reach within my heart and make it new
Oh I must have more of you
what is that song?? I've been looking for it for forever and I can't find it. What's it called?? Who's it by??
@ Michelle,
It's by Brian and Jenn Johnson from IHOP. http://brianandjennjohnson.com. They're two of my favorite worship leaders!
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